Hate
by Heaven is Drunk
Summary: Originally, I'm Gay For You. A Naruto drabble, his thoughts of Sasuke as their story progressed. "You hated him so much that you love him."


**Title: **Hate  
**Type:** Naruto Drabble  
**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort/Angst  
**Pairing: **None  
**Characters: **Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke  
**Background: **Beginning of series to Shippuden series  
**Plot:** Naruto muses over his relationship with Sasuke.  
**Warning: **Ah, maybe yaoi for those who are creative. I hadn't intended it to be that way but you can't stop those who want to see it.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto because if I did, the show would be fucking over with already! I mean dammit, how many more fucking moves can revolve around his Shadow-Clone jutsu!  
**Author Notes: **Same story just renamed. I wasn't getting any reviews under the old title so I suppose the joke was lost on people…silly no-nonsense yaoi fans.

Ha ha! As I said, looks can be deceiving. I had not intention of making this a yaoi or shonen-ai but as I wrote it, I was thinking, dammit this sounds gay. And I just can avoid it since Naruto really does swing that way, lol. I maintain that Sasuke is asexual but whatever, people will fight me on it and I just don't have the energy. I'm too busy ruling the world so whatever. In a perfect world, you'd be dead.

Okay, enjoy!

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**Hate**  
**By Heaven is Drunk**

You just hate everything about him.

You hate how perfect he is at everything, how smoothly he accomplishes the most difficult tasks. You hate that without showing any effort at all; he turns into Iruka-sensei. You hate that he runs a mile without breaking a sweat on his perfect alabaster skin. His midnight black hair is hardly damp, though you find that ability to defy all laws of reality. If you remembered anything, it was that dark colors attracted heat, but here was perfect little Sasuke decked out in dark colors and not a drop of sweat. And you hate that without thinking he hits the target so precisely.

You hate that he did that so easily with people. One easy look at Sakura and he'd hit a target at her heart. Cupid's arrow struck ever so cleanly and she was his for the rest of her lifetime. He'd toss an easy look at Ino and the proud girl would be fumbling all over herself. Just a slight, ugly, arrogant smirk towards Iruka-sensei and stupid Sasuke could do whatever he wanted. And he didn't even show interest in it.

You hated that more than anything.

You tried so hard to be accomplished. You would bleed to just get within the bulls-eye when you practice with the shuriken. You would spend endless hours, pouring your sleepless nights over books just to be able to change your empty frog coin purse into a full coin purse. You'd pour enormous amounts of sweat just to keep up with his pace. And you never got anywhere.

You tried just as hard with people. Laughter drew attention, positive or negative. It didn't matter because it meant that someone was looking at you. Sakura's glare, Ino's exasperated look, even Iruka-sensei's sad eyes were something to crave. You struggled for everything in your life, only to get the slimmest pickings, and stupid Sasuke barely flicked his stupid wrist and he had everything.

You hated him for that.

And then you are on the same team as him! And he could prove how weak you were in comparison to him. How pathetic you are to his greatness! And you hate that feeling. You hate the way Kakashi-sensei praises Sasuke, how he pats the boy on the head and say, "Good Job."

Kakashi-sensei only gave you half-assed points to improve on. He didn't look at you with the same admiration he had for Sasuke. He didn't look at you in disgust and it seemed he forced Sakura to do the same, but it wasn't what you were looking for. He didn't give you compliments, he didn't give you support, and he poked you in the ass!

You hated feeling so humiliated in front of Sasuke.

Sasuke was just better. You hadn't been on anything serious, hadn't dealt with murders and death. You knew that none of your team had save for Kakashi-sensei, but as far as you knew at the time, Kakashi-sensei was dead. You were frozen in fear, unable to move and you felt so helpless. Sakura wailed and you couldn't save her, your charge was in danger and you couldn't protect him. But Sasuke could.

Sasuke leaps into action and kicks the crap out of the enemy. Even that scary boy in the mask, Sasuke never freezes up. He assesses the battle like a pro and does what was necessary to succeed. And even though the hero gets his dramatic entrance and then saves the day, you couldn't compare to how well Sasuke fight.

And when he is dying in your arms, you hate the idea that you can never prove to him that you can do better.

The awkwardness was what you hated. He recovers, he survives, but the thoughts still haunted you. You had come to realize that Sakura didn't matter, Iruka-sensei didn't matter, Kakashi-sensei didn't matter. Only Sasuke is important; only Sasuke's comments mean something to you. It is only Sasuke's approval that you are searching for. You hate relying on him for self gratification.

And you hate that he doesn't need you for his own ego.

But you had achieved your first short-term goal. He notices you, sees you. The way he glares at you, relies on you, and looks out for you told you that he feels the same way. You were a team and he needs you because you were strong enough to fight by his side. That was what you wanted, him to tell you that you are worthy of being on his team. You aren't going to drag him down and you hated how much you loved that feeling.

He wants to fight you because overcoming your strength means that he is strong enough for the title of chunin. You were an obstacle and a podium in his quest for power. He needs you as a means to gain power. And you hated how that made you feel like dirt.

You hated that he leaves.

How stupid you felt. You'd come to realize that you love him; truly love him to the point of madness. He is your companion, your friend, your brother. The feeling overwhelmed you to the point that you let him drive a whole through your chest, figuratively and physically. And you hated yourself after that, hated your own foolishness for thinking he felt the same way.

And there he stands, basking in the sunshine, aged to perfection. He is something to praise; powerful, bold, and so much stronger than you. He can slide down that hill and envelope you in a sick and twisted hug then kill you with that grotesque and perfect sword and you hated that you were letting him do it. Two and a half years later and you were letting him drive a hole through you again. He doesn't even care and you hated him for that.

You hated him so much that you love him. You were friends, brothers, and even if he kills you or you killed him, you are brothers. You were closer to him than that bastard, Itachi and you knew he knows it. You knew in the way he hugs you, in the way he speaks to you, in the way he lets you go. You were brothers and that was how you'd always be.

And you loved it.

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**Author's Note: **Review please, I'd really like to know what people thought of my first 2nd person fic.

Zai Jian!


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